Saturday, May 7, 2011

When Will You Go Back to USA?

I get asked this question a lot. And the honest answer is, I don't know. The longer I stay in Korea, more I want to keep staying here. It has nothing to do with not liking the US. It's my home and eventually I want to go back there, but right now, I just have no desire to make that move.

My life is in Korea. My friends are here. My job is here. My livelihood is here. Being here inspires me as a writer and I've had some awesome opportunities that I wouldn't have gotten in the States. If I left, it would feel like I'm leaving my family. And it would be hard.

Also, I don't have a whole lot in common with my friends from the US anymore. We're all at different points in our lives. Some are getting married. Some are having kids. Some are engaged or climbing up the career ladder. Or still somewhere around the bottom. I wouldn't know what to talk about with most of them. And I don't think a lot of them would understand me or my mindset now. I'm one of a few out of my friend groups from both high school and college that has spent a considerable amount of time living outside the US. It changes you as a person. It changes the way you think. The way you live life. The way you view certain things. And unless another person has gone through a similar experience, it's hard to relate on certain levels.

I'm not the same person I was when I left the US. I still have my values, but I've had new experiences that a lot of my friends haven't. Some don't talk to me anymore because they don't agree with some of the decisions I've made. But that's fine, I suppose. The life I live is not meant for everyone and I personally don't regret anything I've done, good or bad. And everything is something that I've needed to go through to become the person that I am today.

Though, sometimes I wonder if I stay here because it's easy. If I go back to the States, I have to start over at a new job (if I can find one) and basically with a whole new life. I'll have to find a new group of friends that are my age and single, because let's face, it's hard for us single girls to want to hang out with our married friends all the time. Because our interests are different and different things take priority in our lives.

I wouldn't mind staying here long-term. As long as I can get back to visit my family at least once a year. And I'm open to the idea of potentially getting married here, if that's how it's meant to be. Though, I do believe that my one condition is that whoever I marry is open to the idea of moving back to the States when we have children. But again, this is all hypothetical at this point.

So, in short, when will I go back to the US? I don't know...

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