Saturday, May 7, 2011

When Will You Go Back to USA?

I get asked this question a lot. And the honest answer is, I don't know. The longer I stay in Korea, more I want to keep staying here. It has nothing to do with not liking the US. It's my home and eventually I want to go back there, but right now, I just have no desire to make that move.

My life is in Korea. My friends are here. My job is here. My livelihood is here. Being here inspires me as a writer and I've had some awesome opportunities that I wouldn't have gotten in the States. If I left, it would feel like I'm leaving my family. And it would be hard.

Also, I don't have a whole lot in common with my friends from the US anymore. We're all at different points in our lives. Some are getting married. Some are having kids. Some are engaged or climbing up the career ladder. Or still somewhere around the bottom. I wouldn't know what to talk about with most of them. And I don't think a lot of them would understand me or my mindset now. I'm one of a few out of my friend groups from both high school and college that has spent a considerable amount of time living outside the US. It changes you as a person. It changes the way you think. The way you live life. The way you view certain things. And unless another person has gone through a similar experience, it's hard to relate on certain levels.

I'm not the same person I was when I left the US. I still have my values, but I've had new experiences that a lot of my friends haven't. Some don't talk to me anymore because they don't agree with some of the decisions I've made. But that's fine, I suppose. The life I live is not meant for everyone and I personally don't regret anything I've done, good or bad. And everything is something that I've needed to go through to become the person that I am today.

Though, sometimes I wonder if I stay here because it's easy. If I go back to the States, I have to start over at a new job (if I can find one) and basically with a whole new life. I'll have to find a new group of friends that are my age and single, because let's face, it's hard for us single girls to want to hang out with our married friends all the time. Because our interests are different and different things take priority in our lives.

I wouldn't mind staying here long-term. As long as I can get back to visit my family at least once a year. And I'm open to the idea of potentially getting married here, if that's how it's meant to be. Though, I do believe that my one condition is that whoever I marry is open to the idea of moving back to the States when we have children. But again, this is all hypothetical at this point.

So, in short, when will I go back to the US? I don't know...

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I love my family and I love my state (Oklahoma) but sometimes, I'm a little embarrassed to say I grew up there. Mostly when I see something ignorant or idiotic written on Facebook or somewhere else on the internet without any facts to back it up. Most of this time it's political statements or racist statements or sexist statements. I wrote something on Tumblr not too long ago about how not all southerners were rednecks... well, some of them do fine the profile.

I was sifting through the "Yay Osama is dead!" and "Praise the Lords" in my Facebook newsfeed the other day when I came across this:

Is it at all ironic that oSama is one letter off from oBama? I’m not slammin’ our pres. b/c I don’t believe that’s right and I pray for the guy to make Godly decisions. But I’m just sayin………coincidence?

It was written by a girl I went to high school with. We're the same age, but she's a stay-at-home mom with two kids, one of which is just a couple months old. I don't think she finished college but I'm not even sure if she went. I do know that she still lives in the little town where we're from and she's prone to make a lot of status messages with "God" in them.

None of these things should matter. But when you're from Oklahoma, they create the stereotype. Uneducated, lives in the country, barefoot and pregnant, conservative, overtly religious. They are the traits of the group where I'm from that ends up being the loudest voice. And they drown out all the reasonable, rational, educated folks. Like my parents. Who never take cheap shots at Obama, even though they don't like him. They may badmouth his corporate bailouts and healthcare reforms, but they do their research and know their stuff. They, for one, do not want to be labelled "hicks" or "rednecks" during a debate or discussion, so they make sure they can back up all their arguments.

Why can't the people like that be what Oklahoma is known for? Not the high teen pregnancy rate (still haven't learned that ONLY teaching abstinence doesn't work), or the high drop out rate, or the low test scores or the trailer parks? Or the white trash? Or the birthers? Or the Christian extremists?

Don't get me wrong, I am Oklahoman... but I'm not that kind of Oklahoman.